The past few weeks have been a struggle. I'd like to say this is easy... but it's not and never will be. The previous week I had to take my dad to the hospital for a doctor's appointment... So there went a workout. Then I felt sick to my stomach. There went another work out. This week... This week I wanted to eat everything in sight... and I'm pretty sure I did.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

But... I am trying to use this as a learning experience. There is a possibility that I might miss my weigh-in this week. We are expected to get a whopping 6 - 10 inches of heavy wet snow tomorrow into tuesday... and who knows what will happen tuesday.

The week is not a total loss... as I still have tomorrow and tuesday to redeem myself and I am going to try my hardest. Workouts will be completed and water will be drunk.

At least... as hard as it's been... I have NOT succumbed to soda. And that is something I am proud of. Now if I could just get the damn chocolate out of the house... I'd be happy.

Failure Will Never Overtake Me ...

... If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.

Five days of workout completed.

You know that awkward feeling you get when you step off the treadmill but you feel like you're still moving? Yeah... I got that without the treadmill. It was kind of a good feeling, honestly. Since today is Friday, and the last workout of the week, I pushed myself to run harder.

Something that kind of bothered me yesterday, that I meant to write about but forgot, was that I was complaining to a friend about how some days I feel like I don't have time for anything. Dishes need washed. Little guy needs taken care of. The dog needs let out. The living room/kitchen is STILL a mess. The carpets need vacuumed. So on and so forth. She told me to let some things go and make time. She told me to skip my workout and use nap time as a time to get things done. I know she doesn't really understand that my workout IS me time. It's the time that I better myself and let go of a lot of my hurts and guilt. It allows me an hour to focus on just me and to make myself feel better. Like I said, I know she doesn't understand so I wasn't really THAT mad... but it's just kind of frustrating. I've given up a LOT to be a SAHM (and please don't think I regret any of it for a minute!) but if I don't take care of me, how can I take care of my family? My future family? So no... unfortunately (or fortunately) my workout doesn't get skipped, unless something happens and it's an absolute necessity. Sometimes, my workout is the only thing keeping me going.

Onward we go!

Have a great weekend!

Your Mind Is A Powerful Thing

When you fill it with positive thoughts -- your life will start to change.

I decided I kind of liked doing my own walking thing... So that's what I did. I put on an hour long show... walked/marched during the program and jogged/ran during the commercials. I got in 9,000 steps by the end (partly cause I went shopping and was walking all over the store) and had 4.21 miles down.

It's only the first week... So I hope I can keep it up the rest of the year!

That Broken Thing You Keep Trying To Put Back Together...

...Can't Even Compare With That Beautiful Thing That's Waiting To Be Built.

What do you do when you really want to get your 3 miles in using your walking video, but it's windy as heck and the internet goes down? You put on episodes of Dawson's Creek and Beverly Hills 90210... and during the show, you walk. During the commercials, you run/jog/power walk around your house, using your toddler's toys as hurdles.

Last night was the first official weigh-in of the new year and it's a fresh start. I made a promise to myself weeks ago that I was going to enjoy the holidays and if I gained, I gained... but I wasn't going to go over five pounds and that's what I ended up gaining... over 4 weeks. So I can't be super mad at myself... but now I'm ready to start over.

Starting Goal Weight: 310.8

Here we go....

One Pound At A Time

Resolution:

 * a resolve, a determination or decision

Promise:

 * a declaration that something will or will not be done,given, etc., by one.

My promises to myself for 2017:

1. Continue working on my health. I have been slacking over the holidays and I believe that I deserve a break. Luckily I haven't completely sabotaged myself to the point of being where I was at the beginning of summer, but now it's time to get serious. I expect there to be ups and downs, good days, bad days, heck... good moments vs bad moments. But... It's not in the trials you've been through, it's how you deal with them. I hope to use them as a learning experience and get back on track those off days.

2. To grow in my faith. I have been seriously lacking in this department lately and I can feel it. How does this tie into health? Well... If I don't take care of me, I can't take care of others. On days that I am happy and my soul is well fed, I'm more likely to want to exercise and make better choices. When I am "down in the dumps" I am more likely to mindlessly eat and be sad. I'm not saying that I expect to be happy all the time, but I need to return to my faith because I find that I miss who I was when my soul was well. I miss being involved and that amazing family feeling I got from my Church and Church family. I've been working on a gratitude journal every night before bed. I try to write at LEAST 3 things down... but on the days that I can maybe write ONE, I am happy with it. I've also been trying to do my devotionals and doing special one with my little guy (who's not so little). 

3. I am attempting a NO-SODA year. I've done this before (Or as my mom says... doing that soda thing?) and made it all the way to August before. I am hoping to make it the WHOLE year. Last year I didn't attempt it but rather just played it day by day. It worked, most of the time, but once in a while I'd get caught up and go over-board. I'm just going to try and do without it.

I'm sure there will be other smaller goals and mini-goals I will try to accomplish this year (Planning on a no candy/sugar month... just not sure when!) but those are the big ones. By this time next year, I want to be able to buy clothes in the store... not having to buy everything online. It's expensive for shipping and such but also... bigger sized clothes cost more anyway.

I hope that you make your goals/promises/resolutions this year. We can do this and we deserve it.

Happy New Year.