"... You're an overcomer, stay in the fight till the final round. You're not going under, Cause God is holding you right now. You might be down for a moment, feeling like it's hopeless. That's when He reminds you, that you're an overcomer..." (Mandisa)

I love this song for so many reasons: 1) It's upbeat. 2) It has a GREAT message. 3) It's empowering. 4) It's awesome for blasting in the car and singing along to... 5) IT'S TRUTH.

This song fires me up and makes me excited. It reminds me that even though I might be struggling at the moment... that eventually, like everything else, this will pass. It reminds me that I am stronger than I believe myself to be and I can be stronger, bigger and better than my situation. It also reminds me that, even though I might feel alone, I am not. 

And I feel alone a lot of the time in this struggle. Of course, I have friends who support me and kick my ass along the way... but at the end of the day when they've gone to bed... It's just me. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my demons and my negativity. I can't count on people to be there 24/7. I have to pull up my big girl panties and face the world on my own. But the support, encouragement and love that I recieve and I know is there... helps me get through it.

Last night at weigh in I gained 0.4 lbs. But you know what? I'm okay with it. It means I am doing something right because since January 1st... I haven't gained a full pound. I gained 0.6 total. Before, I would have gained a pound or over... so I MUST be doing something right.

I definitely have the exercise part figured out. I average about 3-5 miles a day (Kind of awesome when before I was averaging 2...). The end of January I walked 72 1/2 (out of 720) miles and I am still going strong. I find that even on the days I struggle, I still bust out a good amount of miles. Last week was a personal best at 19 1/2. I've done 20 in one week (May 2017) but I will get there again. I am most certainly on the right track.

My struggle lies with food. Good, old, wonderful, horrible, evil FOOD. I struggle to find the right amounts of stuff and not giving in to candy. No one saw me eat that mini snickers bar so it's okay to have another. I am putting a scoop of nutella (unmeasured, mind you!) into my yogurt buuuuut a little extra spoonful straight into my mouth is OK... No one saw it. It doesn't count.

Ahh but, my love, it does.

This is my goal now. To recommit to tracking. Measuring. Weighing. I KNOW I can be successful if I put the effort into it and really try. I've done really well on it. I need to readopt my attitude of ONE DAY AT A TIME. Instead of worrying about what I'm going to do TOMORROW to be successful, I need to worry about today and the next meal. It's worked with my miles, so why wouldn't it work with my food.

A big issue is that I think about it ALL THE TIME. Constantly. I think about what I'm going to eat for dinner and whether I'll have enough points to eat what I want for dinner. Whether that mini twix bar is really going to break the bank (and news flash... YES it will!). 

And I need to remember that I am only human and I am going to make mistakes and mess up. I am going to have days where it's just too hard and I mess up royally. I am going to have moments that the twix bars will win and the salad will lose. But I need to remember that I am truly trying. That I am doing my best. That I am learning.

I need to remind myself that I am an overcomer and I will beat this. 

And so will you.