It's been a while since I've last posted anything.
Okay it's been a LONG time. But I have a valid excuse. Life. Life gets in the way of everything sometimes, doesn't it?
It's been a crazy couple months.
I celebrated my 30th Birthday the end of last month. It was a blast, despite that it down poured, and I was surrounded by love. Mike (the bf) made it the BEST birthday ever and threw me a party the Saturday after. We bbq'd and had family over. It was amazing.
Shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant. That's right. Pregnant. According to my calculations we were 8-10 weeks along. Three days later we went for our first ultrasound and found out that our peanut had no heartbeat. Talk about devastating.
I was out of work most of last week getting blood work and seeing doctors and confirming the miscarriage and mostly just laying on the couch snuggled with my puppy and crying. Tomorrow I have to go to the ob/gyn and schedule a D&C.
Medically, my peanut had no heartbeat... and medically, nothing formed inside the sac but to me it was very real. After spending my adult hood believing I was unable to get pregnant because of my size (with no medical testing to prove otherwise) I now know that I can get pregnant. And this has caused a LOT of baby talk between me and the bf. We want children.
For 7 weeks (That's where the doctor found me to be...) I got to be a little peanut's momma. And while there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome of this pregnancy, I am hopeful that the next one will be successful. God is seeing me through this and I am surrounded by tons of love and support. 80-90% of pregnancies conceived after a miscarriage are successful. Despite my size and my hypertension, I am otherwise healthy. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to carry successfully and I am a firm believer that it's my time.
For now, I must rest and get ready for this surgery next week. I know when the time comes I will feel hard about it and be sad, but it's all part of the grieving process.
As for my weight loss... I nixed the weight watcher's account because why pay $20 a month when I'm not using it? I am going back to Lose It (a free program!) and starting to wear fitbit.
Funny how life seems to get in the way!
So sorry to hear about your loss....whether 7 weeks, 7 months or 7 years.....loss is not easy!
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best for next week and sending positive vibes.
YES! You can have a baby despite your size, which is awesome. You can also use this as a chance to make it easier on yourself. Take it from me....pregnancy while overweight is HARD! It's hard on your body and doubly uncomfortable. Recovery, particularly if you have to have a C-section, is longer and harder.
I am back to using Lose It too and still swear by my TOPS group (I still say check it out!!!)
I will be checking on you and hope you keep this updated so I can follow!