I'm not so sure what happened.

I was doing well. Tracking all my foods. Moving (maybe not working out per-se but moving nonetheless).

And then something inside me kind of snaps and I give up. Why are mondays so damn rough?

Honestly, I feel like I'm losing it. I start a new program or start over and I do really well for a while and then it's like I just quit. I bought four new workout dvd's and I haven't done a single one yet.

But that's partly because of my home-life.

I haven't been sleeping well lately and right now it's 6am and I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I just want to collapse into my pillow and cry. Something is really struggling inside me.

Some days I wish there was an easy fix to this. Some days I wish I could wake up and be 100lbs lighter. Some days... I wish I never let it get this bad.

I wish I had money for a personal trainer. Someone to come and push me. Make me do it. I wish I had the money to buy my own groceries so I could buy fresh fruits. I wish I had money to get my own place because I KNOW I would thrive.

Here.... Here I just sink.