Yesterday I busied myself with making HOMEMADE chicken pot-pie. I think the most calorie laden part of it was the crust... because of the butter... but OH MY GOSH it was DELICIOUS!

I sautéed cubed chicken in butter then added celery and onion... added frozen veggies (Corn, Lima Beans, Green Beans & Peas) and cooked up a potato (as if for mashing) and tossed it in the pan. Then I added some salt, pepper and other seasonings. I added it to my pie crust and made a packet of gravy (just the gravy and add water) and poured all of it into the crust, put the second crust on top and baked it. It was so yummy and very moist! Plus it was healthy! Mike definitely liked it and it's a recipe going on rotation in our house. I think never time I want to try making it with Turkey instead...

Today I spent the morning/early afternoon mowing the front yard... hard work... I'm exhausted and sunburnt but it's all good.

Tonight we're heading to Kraut Fest. I can't wait!

I had my post-op appointment yesterday. Doctor said everything was fine and that after a month I am clear to try getting pregnant again. We talked a little bit about weight management because I would be a high-risk and have lots of complications because of my size. I told him that it's been an on-going battle and it'll never be over. I told him that I am working on it and trying and this whole "situation" has really opened my eyes.

This week I have been off since Wednesday. I have been cooking and baking like crazy! I miss it. I'm sure my recipes haven't been the healthiest but I've been trying to modify them and eat not as much! Plus the fact that I've been so busy running around and doing things... I haven't had time to sit and munch!

My latest indulgence.... Greek Yogurt Flips... LOVE the choco-almond!

Oh and does any one eat LUNA bars?? I tried one today... Chocolate Drizzled Coconut and it has 9g Protein and 3g Fiber plus a bunch of other stuff... Been thinking about buying a box to eat for breakfast... Any thoughts??

This weekend was full of mindless eating and not a lot of moving. And it showed on the scale as I went up 2 lbs.

The other night I posted that I wanted to let go and eat like crazy. Well I didn't. I allowed myself a little wiggle room but not much. I allowed myself to have an ice cream sundae cone and then called it a night.

Getting ready to go for a quick walk with my boys...

I'm struggling today a little.

Okay a LOT.

I feel like eating everything.

Triumph for Me...

... Had a training in the city today. REALLY wanted to stop at McD's and get a Chocolate Milkshake... a medium. Was in line... Next to order and instead of pulling up to the screen... I drove off...

Still want it but glad I didn't get it.

Score ONE for ME!

Ready To Move On...

My D&C was done last Friday and it was a horrible experience. My ob/gyn prescribed Misoprostol for me to take the night before to help start things. I wish he hadn't because honestly, there was so much blood I was freaked out. And most of it happened at the hospital. As if that wasn't enough, they couldn't find my labs and it just seemed like one thing after another. Once I was in my pre-op room with my Mommy (yes, even though I am 30 now, I still need my Mommy!) I was able to clean up and relax. The surgery didn't take long... about a half hour and I woke up coughing and crying. I didn't know they were going to use a breathing tube. But I felt a LOT better about a LOT of things. I still struggle emotionally, dealing with the grief and loss of my baby... but I hold fast to the hope that I will be blessed again.

While I wait for my turn, I am trying to start over. I have rejoined Lose It instead of Weight Watchers. It's free and it works, when you follow it. I'm trying to cut the soda down (I was drinking WAY too much and eating WAY too much following my miscarriage) and start drinking more water. My bf and I have been eating a LOT of salads lately... So yum! Just waiting for the veggies to come up!

As for the exercise, I have really been thinking about Zumba again. There's a class at my church/work on Thursdays and Tuesdays... and it's only $10 a week... If I'm not paying $18 a month for WW... I think I might be able to swing it. Gotta think about it a little more.

So I'm keeping my chin up and I'm keeping the faith. Better things are coming.... I can feel it.

It's a Wild World...

It's been a while since I've last posted anything.

Okay it's been a LONG time. But I have a valid excuse. Life. Life gets in the way of everything sometimes, doesn't it?

It's been a crazy couple months.

I celebrated my 30th Birthday the end of last month. It was a blast, despite that it down poured, and I was surrounded by love. Mike (the bf) made it the BEST birthday ever and threw me a party the Saturday after. We bbq'd and had family over. It was amazing.

Shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant. That's right. Pregnant. According to my calculations we were 8-10 weeks along. Three days later we went for our first ultrasound and found out that our peanut had no heartbeat. Talk about devastating.

I was out of work most of last week getting blood work and seeing doctors and confirming the miscarriage and mostly just laying on the couch snuggled with my puppy and crying. Tomorrow I have to go to the ob/gyn and schedule a D&C.

Medically, my peanut had no heartbeat... and medically, nothing formed inside the sac but to me it was very real. After spending my adult hood believing I was unable to get pregnant because of my size (with no medical testing to prove otherwise) I now know that I can get pregnant. And this has caused a LOT of baby talk between me and the bf. We want children.

For 7 weeks (That's where the doctor found me to be...) I got to be a little peanut's momma. And while there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome of this pregnancy, I am hopeful that the next one will be successful. God is seeing me through this and I am surrounded by tons of love and support. 80-90% of pregnancies conceived after a miscarriage are successful. Despite my size and my hypertension, I am otherwise healthy. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to carry successfully and I am a firm believer that it's my time.

For now, I must rest and get ready for this surgery next week. I know when the time comes I will feel hard about it and be sad, but it's all part of the grieving process.

As for my weight loss... I nixed the weight watcher's account because why pay $20 a month when I'm not using it? I am going back to Lose It (a free program!) and starting to wear fitbit.

Funny how life seems to get in the way!