Sometimes Following Your Heart....

... Means Losing Your Mind.

This. This was me today.

I turned into an absolute emotional basket-case this afternoon and I don't even know why. It was like everything that's been weighing on my heart just collapsed it to the point of I felt like I was being suffocated. It's a horrible feeling.

So... What did I do?

I walked. And I ran. I ran until my lungs and chest burned. I ran until my knees ached. I ran until sweat dripped and soaked my shirt.

And... I cried.

I. Cried.

But I feel better and I needed it. I needed the time to be alone with myself and work through my frustrations and anger and hurts. I needed to just be with God. I'm still sad... but it's not the desperate sad I was before dinner.

I'm so blessed that my husband lets me take off when I need to. I figure it's better for our relationship than to take everything out on him when it's clearly not him. He's been so great and said he understands that I don't always get time to myself... So it means a lot to me.

My girlfriend and I walked the kids to library this morning. It's a brutal two hill walk (about a mile total) and half way up she wanted to take off her shoes. I haven't done that in forever but it felt so good.

Also, I got my new weight goal from the doctor's office. It looks pretty sweet saying 250! I know to a lot of people that's still a really high number but for me... It's awesome! Considering at my heaviest, I was almost 400! I only have 8 more pounds until I'm finally out of the 3's and I am so ready for it.