Sunday November 4th 2012

15 Combos & Sprite
2 cups scalloped potatoes and ham
1 small slice of chocolate pie (Which was DELISH)
1 Cup ice cream
2 cups whole milk
1 Nutella/Peanut Butter sandwhich
10 Doritos
1 Bottle Pepsi

Yesterday morning I spent in Urgent Care. For about a week I've had pain in my chest... I'm not a Doctor but I know it wasn't my heart... it felt more like my ribs and possibly my lungs. Advil and Aspirin were doing nothing for it so my mom asked me to get checked out. The doctor there suspects I have Pericarditis again (I had it August 2011... it's basically an infection surrounding the heart. I was on Steroids, Antibiotics, Pain Killers and Anti-Nausea meds for about a week and out of work). She pulled me out of work and ordered no strenuous activity. She basically gave me two options: 1. Take Indocin (a high dose of anti-inflammatory) and call my Doctor as soon as they open this morning to go in and figure out our next step (blood work, echo, Cardiologist... etc...) or 2. Go to the ER and have them do everything there and know by the end of the day what was going on. Mom and I chose option 1 because I was hurting but it wasn't bad enough to warrant an ED visit.

Last night was the most miserable I've been in a LONG time. I couldn't get comfortable because it just hurt to move and breathe. I considered waking my mom several times to beg her to take me to the ED. The pills are making me sick to my stomach and I was in tears most of the night. I finally passed out around 3am only to wake up at 5:30a so take my pill again at 6. I'm exhausted and miserable.

Yesterday my mom asked me why I didn't tell Mikey (My boyfriend) about the pain and everything and I told her I didn't want to be someone else's Jim.

Jim is my Ex-Husband. And a hypochondriac. Every month or so he was at Urgent Care or the ED or not feeling well. He did it to make me feel sorry for him and pity him. We spent an entire night at the ED because he claimed to have chest pains but he admitted later he didn't. If I came to my parents alone for a weekend he would call me and tell me he was really sick. It's a horrible thing to do to someone and I didn't want to do that to Mikey. I don't want him to feel like he's settling for me like I did with my ex... and yes, I realize how horrible that is to say that but it's the truth and I knew it.

I ended up telling Mikey anyway about what was going on and he was the sweetest thing ever. He said he'd come by today and stay with me if I felt up to it. He called me wonderful and he calls me his Sweetie. All I can say... I love that man.

So now I sit here... my stomach churning... waiting for the Doctor's office to open so I can force myself into an appointment. 

I love my family for being so supportive and being there for me. I love my friends for taking care of me and loving me for being me. 

Take care of yourselves... Happy Losing