Waking up with a blinding stomachache is not how I wanted to start my saturday. Bummer.

After last night's smorgasboard of horrible eating (Pancakes w/ whole milk for breakfast... a ton of Sun Chips... A cherry pepsi and a regular pepsi... 4 BIG slices of greasy, gooey pizza... 2 Cups of Coffee flavored ice cream...) I woke up feeling guilty.

I woke up feeling like a tanker ran into my stomach... repeatedly. 

I'm not worth it. I'm not worth feeling this crappy because of some bad choices I make during the day. I have the support (Thank you my friends...) and the knowledge to make awesome choices and get this done. 

But... I'm lazy. I'm just lazy.

And I still have no room in the fridge for any foods I want.

So... I'm saving my money to move out because I deserve better than this. I deserve a salad and a counter of fruit. I deserve fat free milk and yogurt. I deserve to cook myself a delicious yet good-for-me dinner when I want to and I deserve to wake up at 3 am... bake cookies... and eat them one at a time... maybe two.

I deserve to be in a judgement free zone... where I can workout or attempt to without feeling like I have to hide it or being afraid of snide comments from passer-bys. 

I deserve to drink tons of water and then have to pee every 15 seconds.

I deserve it.

So today is Saturday and I'm halfway through my week of binging but I'm "starting over" today and making good choices. I'm tired of feeling sluggish and looking in the mirror and seeing a fat girl staring back. I'm tired of wearing unflattering clothes because nothing else fits. 

I deserve more.

Oh... and when I said I didn't weigh myself this week... I lied. To who? No one but me. I did weigh myself and I was discouraged at the results. When I started this blog I made a promise to myself that I would be honest and real and I wouldn't hide anything. So I hope you can forgive me.

This week's weight: 330.6. (+3.5)
Weight Watcher's Points: 50 (Up 1 from last week)